


Only A Parade

by MrsDvlDg



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Humor, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF, Parades, Peppermint loving horse, stupid injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21661873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsDvlDg/pseuds/MrsDvlDg
Summary: Team Seven is ordered to participate in a Children's Christmas Parade.  So how do five of the seven men end up injured before even starting the parade route?  Inspired by a rather put upon horse meme.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Only A Parade

**Author's Note:**

> I'd share the picture that started this but I can't figure out how to post an image. Not the most tech savvy person, I'm afraid.

Chris shook his head as he looked at the injured men scattered around his living room. Only Team 7 could take something as innocuous and tedious as a Children's Christmas Parade and come away with five men down for the count. None of the injuries were life-threatening, thank the Lord, but he had been the lone representative for the ATF, although unaware of that fact at the time.

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

With the distrust in law enforcement that seemed to multiply daily, the powers that be in Washington decided that all federal law enforcement should participate in holiday parades, be friendly faces that the citizens could connect with. Any parade would work, but it was encouraged to take part in ones geared toward children.

He took a sip of his whiskey as he remembered bellowing at Orin Travis on Monday.

“Why the hell my team!? What have we done that warrants this punishment? Judge, it's a really bad idea!”

“Chris, it's too late to get a float entered into the parade. The only thing we can still register are horses and your team all have them. It's practical, not punishment. Just pretend it's a festive trail ride with your ATF jackets on. It's just a parade.”

“Still a bad idea,” Chris muttered at he went to inform his team.

By Friday, he knew that something bad was going to happen. Buck and JD had gotten into their regular argument of who can do better. This time it was who could decorate his horse to attract the most attention from the children. Chris had even considered faking a headache to get out of the parade the next day. The only thing that stopped him was knowing Nathan would hover and fuss and also miss the parade. So early Saturday morning, he was up and feeding all seven horses. Vin arrived soon after he'd started and loaded their tack into the front of the trailer and his Jeep. Decorating could be done at the parade start since the horses brought up the rear. Well, no one counted the street cleaner that drove a respectful distance behind them.

Vin loaded Peso on first. The cantankerous horse got along with the other six just fine when he had space to move but absolutely could not be tied in a trailer next to another animal. Buck's Lady and JD's Milagro went on next. Those two got along better than their owners, friendship without the “sibling rivalry.” Chris loaded Pony while Vin grabbed Nathan's Abe. Last two on were Josiah's Prophet and Ezra's Chaucer. Chaucer had to be the first horse off the trailer; otherwise he became as moody as Peso. Prophet tolerated the sorrel's hi-jinks which kept the trailer from rocking down the road.

The parade was scheduled to start at 2 pm. All participants needed to be lined up by 1 pm. Of course, that just meant the horses needed to be in the field next to the line of floats. They could take their time and decorate the horses at the field. Chris was told that there would be several large tanks of water for the horses to drink if he wanted to get there earlier. He told the team to meet Vin and him at the field around 11. He knew Buck and JD would need the time. Getting there early also meant he could pick out his parking space where he would be close but not blocked in at the end.

All of the guys were at the field when Chris and Vin arrived. Even Ezra which surprised Chris until he remembered: children. Their “con man” may make adults wait on him but never children. He'd seen Ezra get up at 4 am to make it to an event for the Children's Hospital.

Horses were unloaded and tied around the trailer. Saddles were put on stands until they were needed. Vin attached a bit of garland to the back of his saddle, using the saddlebag ties to hold it on. Nathan and Josiah did the same. Chris had gotten some holly to attach to his saddle ties, along with one sprig for Pony's bridle. Ezra, flashy man that he was, got some strings of chasing lights powered by battery packs. After Chaucer danced away from them, Ezra attached the lights to the saddle instead of wrapping his reins with them. Chris shook his head as he looked at JD and Buck. Both of them were trying to get every Christmas decoration known to man on their saddles, reins, and horses. It was almost noon and Nathan passed out sandwiches for them to eat. Only Ezra didn't complain about the amount of vegetables on his sandwich.

Looking across the field, Chris saw an old police academy buddy sitting with the Denver mounted patrol. He saddled Pony and headed over to say hello. He should have known better than to leave his team without their “parental figure.” As the first of the floats started to move, all hell broke loose around his trailer. Buck was tying a top hat decorated with holly and bells onto Lady's head. She apparently hated the idea and, in trying to shake it off, slammed her head into Buck's – knocking him out. Nathan stopped saddling Abe to move Buck to the bed his truck. JD climbed onto Milagro, who decided that he didn't like the sleigh bells hitting his flank.

Josiah saw Milagro start bucking, sending JD flying into one of the water tanks. It was a warm day for Denver in December but 40 degrees is still too cold to be soaking wet. Josiah regretted his instinct to help when JD pulled him into the tank as he was trying to get the younger man out. Nathan left Buck holding an instant ice pack to his head to get JD and Josiah out of their wet clothes (well, mostly; neither man would take off their underwear), and into the front of his Explorer. The engine was started and the two cold men were wrapped in saddle and space blankets, instant hand heaters were activated as well and placed between the blanket layers.

Ezra had failed to notice that the candy canes on Peso's reins were candy, not plastic decorations. Chaucer, on the other hoof, loved peppermint. As soon as Ezra untied Chaucer, the horse yanked the reins wrapped around Ezra's left hand to go after the candy canes. A familiar “pop” was heard from Ezra's shoulder as it once again dislocated. Vin found himself between two determined horses: Chaucer – determined to get his beloved peppermint and Peso – equally determined to not have Chaucer eating peppermint off of him. Both geldings started nipping at each other. Vin reacted instead of thinking and went to pull the candy canes off and throw them away from Peso, thereby getting Chaucer to leave him alone. He misjudged what both horses were going to do and ended up with his hand in the sorrel's mouth as his own black horse stomped directly on the middle of his foot.

Ezra managed to call Chaucer away from Vin and Peso by opening a peppermint drop one handed. Nathan left the other wounded men to check on Vin and Ezra. He sighed heavily as he realized that he was now the only team member capable of tying the horses back up. He looked around for Chris only to see the crowd of horses head down the parade route.

“Ezra, help Vin hobble over to Buck's truck. Vin, whatever you do, don't pull on Ezra's left arm!”

Chris had arrived back at the field, wondering why the rest of his team hadn't caught up with him during the parade. He was dumbstruck at seeing six horses tied to the trailer, unsaddled and without decorations. Nathan was the only team member in sight but his Explorer was running.

“Nathan? What did I miss?”

Nathan started ticking off injuries on his fingers.

“One concussion, two cases of hypothermia, a dislocated shoulder, one bitten hand, and possible broken foot.”

“What?!” Chris exclaimed.

Nathan then explained the events leading to the highest decorated ATF team in Denver being taken out of commission by their own horses. He had just finished the tale as Orin Travis approached Chris's truck.

“Mr. Larabee, I thought I told you your whole team was to participate”

“Someone forgot to get the horses' approval, Judge,” Chris growled.

Nathan took the high road and once again related the chain of events that had him treating his other five team members for injuries that kept them from riding in the parade.

Travis looked chagrined.

“Sorry Chris. I forgot that Team 7's luck only applies to busts and interrupted robberies. Something as inane as a parade has now put my best team out of commission for the rest of the month. At least we got one of you out there. The black background of you and your horse really highlighted the green and red of the ivy and berries. Good job.”

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

And that was how Chris had five injured men laying about his living room. Buck was leaning back in the recliner. Josiah and JD were wrapped in blankets in front of the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate. Ezra's left arm was in a sling and strapped to his body. Vin had a walking boot on his left foot and his right hand wrapped in gauze. The doctor said he was lucky that the tarsal bones were only cracked and not fully fractured. He'd also had a tetanus booster and was on antibiotics for ten days. None of them were hurt badly enough to need a hospital stay but Nathan didn't have room for all of them at his house. And he'd told Chris that since he'd done all the first aid himself that Chris would be helping with the nursing, at least for the rest of the weekend. Travis offered an apology for his part in the debacle by arranging to have Buck's truck, Vin's Jeep, Josiah's Suburban, and Ezra's Jag driven to Chris's ranch.

Nathan joined Chris on the porch, taking away the glass of whiskey.

“Not fair, Chris. I need this more than you,” he remarked just before he threw back the rest of the glass.

“You're right. How are our invalids?”

“Normal for them. We need to get them tucked into bed while they can still help. Oh, and Chris? Next time, let's limit decorations to fake ivy and garland.”

“Next time, Nathan, I'm pulling this fiasco out to explain why sending us to charity events as a group is a bad idea.”

“Even better.”

THE END

  
  



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